Why My Garden Used to Stress Me Out – And What Changed

Confession: Gardening used to stress me out.

I started each year convinced that this would be the one where everything went as planned. I envisioned a perfect garden with overflowing beds of vegetables and my children frolicking among the plants, eagerly helping with the harvest.

All I had to do was follow my plan. Then when things didn’t match up to the expectation I’d berate myself. Rise and repeat when I’d start over the next season with a “new and improved” system.

I thought I could plan my way to guaranteed success, avoiding failure at all costs. 

Why? Because I saw failure as a reflection of my worth. Instead of learning from the experience, I’d torment myself with criticism and learn nothing.

However, gardening doesn’t let one dwell on such things as failure is inevitable. 

Droughts, pests, and rabbits are just a few challenges I contend with. Sticking to my master plan became laughable.

Then it hit me: it was okay to have things fail. 

This realization was freeing. No longer did I have to worry about perfect execution. Instead, I learned:

• It’s fun to experiment without attachment to results. This allowed me to try weird vegetable varieties like Carolina Reaper peppers (which rabbits love to eat)

• If something doesn’t work, learn from it and try again. It took me four years to grow a healthy tomato plant from seed.

• Mistakes can bring beautiful outcomes. One year, birds and chipmunks distributed sunflower seeds all over my garden, leading to gorgeous sunflowers.

• Flexibility is key. I can plan for hot and dry days, but sometimes nature gives me a cool, wet summer. Now, I roll with what I’m dealt and try to make the best of it.

Learning from mistakes is hard if we focus on the mistake itself. 

Instead, accept that failure is part of the learning process. This shift in thinking has made all the difference for me, both in and out of the garden.