Define Your Goal
Knowing why we’re doing something is the key to achieving our goals.
But first, let’s make sure the goal is clearly defined.
The most common goals I hear this time of year are:
I want to be healthier
I want more job fulfillment
I want to be a better parent
These are big, lofty and VAGUE goals.
How will you know if you’re healthier? What makes a job fulfilling? What makes a parent better?
Knowing the answers to these questions will enable you to achieve them. Because if we don’t have a clear understanding of our destination, how will we know when we’ve reached it? Choosing something that is clear and measurable will help you come up with a plan that you can execute.
For example, instead of “being healthier” the goal could be “walk outside for 15 minutes 3 times a week” or “being a better parent” could be “play a boardgame each week with my kids”. Essentially you’re replacing a nebulous objective with something that is concrete.
Because when the intent is clear you’ll know if you’ve accomplished it.
Now that you know what you’re doing you need to know WHY you're doing it.
Most of us pick our goals from a negative place. The “why” is usually something like “I need to workout because I hate the way I look”.
But motivation from a place of shame is a hard thing to sustain. By focusing on all the things you don’t like about yourself, you’re increasing your stress. And stressed out people rarely make good decisions.
Instead, pick a reason that aligns with your personal values and desires.
For example, recently I coached a woman who wanted to commit to exercising more frequently. She’d been trying on her own and wasn’t having much success. When we first met she told me her reason was “I know I should move more”. But all the “shoulds” was just causing shame and it was not working for her. After we talked for a bit she realized her “why” was that her grandchildren were starting to crawl and she wanted to be able to play on the floor with them.
Once she understood why she was exercising (the joy of playing with her grandchildren), executing her plan was much easier.
Basically your why should feel like a cheerleader shouting encouragement, not an angry drill sergeant screaming all the things that are wrong with you.
And if you can’t find your inner cheerleader, book your free coaching consultation.
I can help you.